i was as usual busy with my Monday morning madness when a stranger came to my cubicle and ask me where "Irene" sits (Irene is a colleague of mine). So, i replied that Irene stepped away for a while to the HR dept. and she will be back shortly. Instead, of saying "thank you" which i actually expected. This lady challenged back "but she is expecting me and she knows me!" in a raised voice which displays her impatience and seems she is accusing me i am lying and not meeting her immediate demand. What is this lady's real intention? To know the truth as in to speak to Irene or to prove to me she could raise her voice and show me who is boss? i stood up calmly, walk to next cubicle and take a look if Irene came back to her desk. To my amazement, Irene actually did not go to HR so i direct the lady to see Irene. Instead of walking over, she again questions if the person i am referring to is Irene.
Some thoughts came to my mind at the moment. "why would she asks me if the person is Irene & not Irene directly?" "how much more assurance does she need from me to prove the person she is facing is really Irene and that i did not lie to her?" "why is there a need for her to challenge me aggressively as if she doubts i am telling the truth?. Of course thoughts flows after another and many thoughts came to my mind. Then, to fulfil my curiosity, i suddenly type online in our office intranet IM to ask a close colleague of mine "people sees inquisitive kids as smart children, if adults are inquisitive they are seen as insecure" this is my idea, what do you think? Pamela, my colleague then replied "oh really? i have never thought of it this way but it is an insight" Then, i revisit the talks that i attended yesterday and formed a few of my own observations which i feel i would like to share with you and get your opinion on for discussion sake.
So i replied to Pamela that we most probably know that teenagers are the most problematic age group; they like to act adult and forced their mind to think like adults but they are physically still a child. We often call this "identity crisis". So what happens when this identity crisis do not get dealt with? Certainly this trauma will grow with us as we grow older into adulthood but this identity crisis trauma stays.until we grow older if not dealt with right? Like the famous saying "some people grow old but they do not grow up", The maturity level stops at teenage life but they did grow older. Also, since when older people are wiser? Some old people, the older they get the more childish they become? Why is that so? Is it because their self identity was never sorted out and therefore they live in confusion leading to delusion?
As i ask myself the above questions, i formed many thoughts then i slowly link them up.........
Like what your teacher says which i truly believe. Karma is formed from a seed that slowly grows into a tree. Some people goes through life like a zombie, moving with the flow because life has been so smooth sailing to them till there is no need to stop and think what caused their life to be blocked. Everything seems good. Good job, good pay, all 5 Cs accomplished. i have money i spend on holidays, spend on clothes, spend on makeup. If there is a need to be good looking, spend on clothes and makeup, go for slimming lessons. As you can see, all the effort spent on superficial; outlook, never the core of the problem; the seed.
Like what your teacher also says, never underestimate the power of the mind. It will evolve into my sicknesses to tell us what it is upset about. Only when we are sick or met with a very disturbing encounter like some natural catastrophe, only then we will be awaken from our daily routine to observe what is happening around us. We have all been too comfortable with our lives and never bother to take a step back to appreciate the things around us, the trees and flowers around us. The clean air we are breathing. It also reminds me of Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" that was being banned in Singapore because he was exactly targeting at all this issues which we are all supposed to bother with. Not just STI will go up or down? Petrol price will decrease or not? Next door chicken rice will increase price or not? Why do people not bother to look deep into themselves but choose to blame the external factors like plastic surgery? Is it because it is easier to blame others OR people do not really understand?
Let's just talk about Singapore as a nation. What are we famous for? Kiasu, Kiasee. What is "Kia"? It is fear. Imagine to live a life full of fear is so scary isn't it? To put compassion at work, many people are so full of fear. Fear to lose out, fear of inability to survive the inflation and so forth. To live a life full of fears is tiresome and scary but do people know? They most probably feel it is necessary since everyone is doing it so they abide or known as "follow the herd" "follow the crowd" because following will not make the person stupid as one wrong all is wrong, no odd one out. How many Singaporeans did get the chance to venture overseas and learn the way of life and think out of the box? Not many, only the fortunate ones and we are the fortunate ones for there are so many especially the older generation who has never ever stepped out of Ang Mo Kio even not to mention to JB.
Let's go deeper what may have caused this? Since ancient days, the Asians have always looked upon the Westerners as almighty, powerful. Asians treat Westerners as Gods to worship to idolize. As what your teacher said yesterday also, the moment we take a saviour or an object to be an emotional pillar to lean on, we start to be dependent thereby losing our identity because we begin to form a reliant, we totally rely our ignorance, our delusion, our deeds to a saviour thereby taking no responsibility in our own action, our own emotions. In the long run, we form a "blame". Whatever happens is not my fault, God is angry with me, God is punishing me. There seems nothing for the individual to understand or becomes aware that whatever the person is doing is their own deeds because the belief is there is a creator, a saviour, a God, a deity to solve MY problem. Therefore, the responsibility has been shifted away from the self. The mind is such a cunning machine. It moulds truth and facts to each's benefit. Is this really what religion preaches? Maybe not. In Christianity (Catholicism) and Islam, God gave a path the people have to follow to lead to happiness. In Buddhism, the Buddha gave his dharmma and we as followers have to follow his path and we will remove sufferings eventually and lead to eternal bliss. However, how many people understand God's words or Buddha's words but merely treat it as an emotional pillar to aid ME in times of bad? To give emotional support?
With the weak culture of Singaporeans, living in fear seems the motivation to betterment of our 4 major races. After the British left us to survive on our own, our "mother" abandon us. We are left on our own, like a mother abandoning the baby when the British thinks we are ok to live on our own however the citizens were not ready to feel the assurance and security? After years of such insecurity, the generations grew to be competitive all for the sake of survivor as in war, losers die and winners lived. The desire to win is so great that we have been taught in schools we must do well or else we fail. Failure is a disgrace it brings shame. Living in shame we know is definitely not nice but it has been so deeply seeded in the 1st world country like USA and developed countries to compete for the best, to compete brings growth, to compete brings prosperity, to compete brings riches.
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